I just wanted to let future parents out there know the birth of your child isn’t always the Hallmark commercial that you have in your head. And it’s OK if you take your time to fall in love. You’re not a bad person or parent. It gets better.
Here's my share:
Shortly after I gave birth and was released from the hospital with my 1st child I thought I had just ruined mine and my husbands life. Of course I didn’t say that out loud for fear someone would take my baby away or think I wasn’t a good mother/person. But I remember thinking this is not good. I felt like a human pacifier, stuck on the couch all day with the kid nursing. I couldn’t put her down or she’d cry. I couldn’t go to the bathroom b/c she always needed to be held. I was helpless. I felt like I wasn’t getting things done like cleaning, bathing or bushing my teeth. I still looked like I was 5 months pregnant and she was a funny looking baby. I was a wreck.
I remember a friend telling me when I was pregnant that it took her months to fall in love with her baby. And she and her husband would ask each other, “Do you love him yet?” She was the only one who was honest with me about her experience and of course I thought, well, she obviously is not a good Mother and that will not happen to me. Surprise, it did!
For the record my friend and her husband are madly in love with their son, it just wasn’t love at first site. It sometimes takes a while. Just like when I was falling in love with my husband, it didn’t happen in one day. And when that baby comes into your life, you’re just getting to know each other; it takes some time to know each others personalities, likes and dislikes.
I just finished listening to Brook Shield’s book on CD, Down Came the Rain, and it got me thinking about how taboo the subject of Postpartum Depression is and how that is attached to our values as a person/mother. Tom Cruise anyone? It’s a great book.
Hormones are a crazy thing and that is mostly what the Baby Blues are and they only last a few weeks. Postpartum Depression is when you think you may want to harm yourself, run away or harm the baby. Read more here.
I love, love, love my kids and really they haven’t ruined my lift, just changed it and mostly for better. Although I do miss my sleep, but I love my kids more.
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