rockergirrl responded November 18, 2007 at 11:10PM

  www.findbarefootbooks.com

Hello! I have been wondering how you were doing. I am sorry things are not going well. You don't like it there? I'm so sorry. What is it? The homesick part is tough at first when you move away. Feel free to vent to us. We are always listening.

  cosmoblue responded November 19, 2007 at 1:31AM

  

It feels like it is just everything. I just don't really every get to talk to anyone. I don't like the apartment we live in or it's location. My husband hates his job and so he comes home and complains all night. He is totally resenting that I am staying home with DD and "forcing" him to stay at his job since I have no income. He wants me to get a job, but we moved here so that I wouldn't need to work. There just aren't as many jobs in fashion for me to choose from. I have applied at a few places, but they aren't hiring at my level. I have also done a few freelance jobs and he doesn't understand how difficult it is to get work done with a toddler screaming at you that she wants to nurse. He says that I don't understand how unhappy he is at work even though I worked a a job that I hated for 7 months so that I could keep my health insurance while I was preggo with DD. He laughs if I say I am stressed because he thinks I don't do anything at home except hang out on the computer. I just feel displaced. My house is a mess we still have boxes everywhere. I can't even get on a decent schedule for DD. We sleep too late and she stays up to late. She eats whenever she is hungry. not of least importance is the weather. We haven't been able to go to the playground in a week. I feel like a terrible mother, and a terrible wife, and a terrible excuse for a woman. I just cannot get it together. I could go on and on.

  dhiya responded November 19, 2007 at 4:49AM

  

Hey there,I understand how it feels but one thing is for sure that if you are upset or depressed about something every small silly little thing would matter to you and will further make you feel sadder....Don't worry,just prepare your mind to face anything and it will only make you a stronger and better person...You are feeling terrible becuse everything around is unfavourable to you and the only way way to feel better is to stay calm and handle things wisely...Be patient,let it pass and trust me things will change drastically....In your free time just work out something which will help you feel better(like maiking friends,going out for walks,shopping,reading a novel.taking a shower,visiting a beauty saloon or anything under the sun which will keep you happy)You have to decide what is good for you and work it out for yourself....Enjoy every bit of this one beautiful life that God has given you...Have fun and keep smiling:-)

  vtmomof2 responded November 19, 2007 at 9:13AM

  Life is crazy but wonderful.

I'm so sorry you are feeling bad, and this isn't working out the way you intended. You need to take control of things, first unpack, put your stuff away. Start making your apartment a home. Then go out to a store, not to shop, but to be amongst other people, smile and say hello to someone. Sometimes you have act your way to feeling better. Next don't let your hubby bring you down. Remind him of your original intent for moving there, it was for you to stay home, and it is not your fault his job isn't exactly what he likes, and if that is the case then he needs to start looking for a new job that will make him happier, but to dump it on you is not fair, it is not your fault he doesn't like it. I think a new job for you would help you feel more in control though, but to be sure even if you find a job that doesn't change his situation, he would still have to work and he would still be unhappy there. But I think that if you found work it would also help you meet some new people. But since you can't just go and start working somewhere without them hiring you first start with your apartment. It is amazing how unpacking can make you feel so much better. Like I said before sometimes you have to force yourself to move, and sometimes you have to act happy in order to be happy. Maybe when your hubby gets home and sees the apartment all put together it might put him in a better mood and you guys can talk about your situation in a manner that is productive instead of destructive and accusatory. Good luck to you, I'm thinking of you:)

  dustbunny responded November 19, 2007 at 9:29AM

  dishing the dirt, cleaning the chaos

HI...oh no! I am sorry it seems to be backfiring. Nothing worse for family morale than hoping for a great new life and getting stuck in a rut. All it will do is cause you dig really deep to find what you want out of life. If you hate it so much- you are young, you only have one kid and you don't own (right?). So, go back. Move. Transition to another area...no sense in being miserable. If your hubby loved it but you hated it that would be harder...since you both hate it, draw up plan B. Myabe you could job hunt and if the right job comes up anywhere (for him and/or you) you go for it. There's only so many times when you really can throw it all to the wind and try again. You could decide where you really want to be- if it's there, then you'll make it work. Keep going forward...this is a rough patch. you've got time on your side :). I understand your situation- we moved last year and now my hubby loves his job but I've ended up with the short end of the stick. I don't want to go back but I'm not entirely happy here- of course it'a great place in many ways to raise kids but I feel like I'm not where I am supposed to be- but we have three kids and a house and I get frustrated daily. I really do understand...so if you can change it, do it. Glad you're back- even if you are unhappy, all the more reason to check in with us :)Happy Thanksgiving. OH and until you execute plan b- if you make one- I like what vt mom said. Try hard to settle in a bit- even if it's only a few things...
BTW, I thought you were in seattle...dur, sorry

  Sticky_Mommy responded November 19, 2007 at 9:33AM

  I love my job, it gives me a break from my kids!

vtmomof2 has some great points there. By getting on a routine for meals, sleeping etc. you & DH will have some time alone, and DD will have some consistence that she needs.

Get in the Portland mind set. Find the inside play areas, in the malls, at the local schools or libraries. We VT Moms know the value of getting out of the house and into warm places for our kids to run around.

When your DD goes to bed then you & DH can talk. It???s ok for him to vent, but not place blame. And this can be your time to vent too. You have to pull together as team when things are rough. It???s hard when you???re exhausted from a full day and it???s just so easy to fall into bed but the less things are cleared up the more cluttered your life will stay. You were the one to turn me onto the Fly Lady!

  Sticky_Mommy responded November 19, 2007 at 9:34AM

  I love my job, it gives me a break from my kids!

ps - it's so great to hear from you. I've been thinking about you!

  LatteMommy responded November 19, 2007 at 10:01AM

  LatteMommy

HI. It's good to hear from you. I've been wondering how you've been. We are always here for you to vent and we'll always listen. Take Care of yourself and Hang In There. It will get better.

  cosmoblue responded November 19, 2007 at 10:19PM

  

Thanks everybody for all of the suggestions and everything. Most of it I probably already knew, but sometimes I just have to hear it from a source outside my head.