Okay, so I haven't ridden my snowboard in a while so I am certainly not as core as I should, would, or could be at this point in my life. Kids took over and my feet were always miserably cold so hey- whatever, let it go. But, occasionally I play around on snowboard websites just to see what's going on out there (plus my hubby has worked in the industry this whole time...anyway...). I came across an ad on Shredbetties for funny stories of embarassing crashes. So, I thought I'd draft an article. I haven't submitted it yet but I think you'll all appreciate the visual on this one! It's not edited but I need to step away from it and clean it up...
Schooled: A Lesson to Laugh About
When I was a teenager, I taught snowboarding in New Hampshire . I rode the ice, the pack, the bullet proof, the death cookies, the sleet, and the subzero madness on a regular basis. I was used to bombing runs, dorking around (what else could we do without actual snow?) and teaching packs of mini-punks how to hold an edge on glazed terrain. I worked hard to keep my students in check…no snowballs, no snaking, no chasing, no swearing, no spitting off the lifts at old people- you know, the stuff that would give some illusion of being a responsible rider and a skilled leader.
However, that façade ended the day I finished a lesson, dismissed my students and bolted to squeeze a bonus run in before my next crew arrived. I rode up, and at the top, I pointed it, hauled oats to the bottom (in order to keep my speed through the flats) and ollied up off a well-known-knoll just for fun. Well, it wasn’t fun when I popped up for a backside 180 and my edge took me down with a violent SMACK! No helmet and a graceless fall…sweet.
So, there I was, in my instructor jacket (teal and purple, barf!), knocked out cold at the bottom of the mountain. The worst part: I was lying limp, under the chairlift, like a fool with kiddos from my recently dismissed class zooming directly overhead on the chairlift. Along with my giggling students were my friends, fellow instructors and even a few bosses staring down in disbelief. When my memory came back, oxygen-assisted, I instantly knew I’d be the target of all hillside humor for weeks to come. As for the valuable lesson? Let’s just say I taught everyone what NOT to do and WHERE not to do it...plus, I demonstrated the value of a good, solid, helmet.
