karriejean responded July 8, 2007 at 5:59PM

  Massage therapist, martial artist, butt-kickin' momma.

Oh, I can so relate to your problem. My husband and I have been going through this ever since I got pregnant three years ago. Our sex life has suffered, our relationship has suffered and it's so taxing. Fortunately I'm not one to let things simmer like my hubby does. As soon as I feel we need to talk I lay it all out for him, and most of the time he's right there with me. My advice to you is to just talk about your feelings, about how you are being affected by the distance in your relationship. Divorce is not an option for me, either, and my hubby and I are constantly working on the problem. We have our good months and our bad months. When you talk about it try not to say, "you" to him, you do this, you don't do that. Come from how you are feeling, that way it doesn't put him on the defense. You might also try a marriage counselor. That's not one step closer to the divorce lawyers, it's a tool to help you communicate. My hubby and I haven't gone there, but we need to. Therapy is a good thing! Good luck. You also have three kids and are still breastfeeding and you are working. I did that, too, and still do. It's different when the mom works, I don't care what anyone says. There is an incredible amount of guilt we have to contend with...hope all goes well for you :)

  Smasuzzo responded July 9, 2007 at 9:04AM

  

Maybe you and the DH need a little get away to reconnect. I know Mylie is still young but maybe just a weekend... or have a friend or grandparent come and visit to watch them for you so you can have some private time. Check out Dustbunny's post .... her and her hubby went nuts RIGHT ON!

  vtmomof2 responded July 9, 2007 at 9:53AM

  Life is crazy but wonderful.

I always use the golden rule with my husband, even if I don't feel like it, I am extra nice. By acting it, I really have a change in my own attitude, it is like acting your way to feeling better. I believe when we are nicer it comes back to us, meaning if I am nice to him, he will in turn be nice to me and by decompressing the situation he is more receptive to what I have to say. I don't feel you can change anybody else you have to start with yourself. Once you feel less confrontational and relaxed than you can work on negotiating a split of chores without an argument or anybody feeling defensive. Good luck, I hope you guys work it out.

  handanmyl responded July 9, 2007 at 11:32AM

  Three is for me!

I really should change my own attitude, I know it would make a huge difference. I do talk it out for the most part with him, I never lay he blame (as much as I would like too)yet, he still feels like I am attacking him,, I am starting to thinktherapy would be our best bet.

  akinvt responded July 9, 2007 at 2:25PM

  

Ugh, the sex life pressure is the WORST! All you want to do is catch some zzzz's at the end of a long, tiring day but there is still someone else's needs who haven't been met yet...

I have no words of advice only the consolation that you are definitely not alone in your feelings.

  dustbunny responded July 10, 2007 at 1:14PM

  dishing the dirt, cleaning the chaos

ditto on all the above comments..you are not alone, girl.