MyBaby - rockergirrl Journal

Working Girl

Posted October 30, 2007 at 9:13AM by rockergirrl
www.findbarefootbooks.com

My life went from what I thought was crazy to absolute insanity. I took on a 2 month contract job that I am doing from home 20 hours a week while still having my youngest kid home with me. Within the first three days I had regrets. Many old feelings of stress and anxiety came back to me (it was a job I previously had) and I found myself unable to juggle my life. All the reasons for why I quit working in the first place hit me like a ton of bricks and I realized I got myself in over my head. I have since hired someone to help me out in the mornings with my little guy so that has helped a lot. It will enable me to get through this 2 month deal but after that I am done. Even though I only have to do 4 hours each day, because I have to spread that out between school drop off, lunch, naps, school pick up, dinner, and managing my family I end up feeling like I am working all day because it takes from morning to night to get the full 4 hours in. I am stretched beyond belief. I feel like my head cannot be where it needs to be which is on my family. So all in all I guess I learned a good lesson. I am just not ready. I am not ready to go back to the rat race. The extra money is nice right now of course but it is so not worth the strain on my family, myself and my sanity. We have managed without it and we can do it again.

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dustbunny responded October 30, 2007 at 10:20AM

dishing the dirt, cleaning the chaos

It's hard...and you feel constantly uneasy because you're just not focused and you have to be here and you have to do this and the house is a mess and dinner..is it 5:00 already? and baths and books and more TV for ds? ok, just because this needs to get done today...Yes, rockergirl, I second that- it's TOO MUCH and I agree but no worries because you are doing a good job and quite frankly- nobody should have to suffer the rat race...unless the money is in the six digits, lol.

vtmomof2 responded October 30, 2007 at 10:23AM

Life is crazy but wonderful.

I hear you. It is so hard. I know the feeling between school and a little work, and I mean a little, like an hour a day, maybe. It feels like I am always on the computer. Of course I'm not, but it feels like it. I am either doing school work, work work, laundry, dishes, cooking, dropping off kids, picking up kids, etc. It is hard. Hang in there.

dhiya responded October 31, 2007 at 5:43AM

Just follow what you think is really good for you and helps you lead a comfortable,tension-free life coz it is sometimes good to take suggestions but others' experiences may not suit your life-style rather it may not work for you...I might feel you should quit your job and focus only on family,another member might suggest you to stick to your job,so it is better you decide what you think would make you lead a happy life and gives you some satisfaction....There is no point in forcing yourself towards something which you don't want or don't like to do...

Fall cleaning

Posted October 28, 2007 at 8:08PM by rockergirrl
www.findbarefootbooks.com

I don't do spring cleaning, I do fall cleaning. When spring comes I just say "get me the heck out of this house" and I don't look back. From spring until winter you will find me in my garden or porch. Our yard becomes another room for us. So when fall comes and I know soon enough we will be back inside our small living quarters for the winter I must prepare it for our stay. his means cleaning it from top to bottom because I am severely allergic to dust, decluttering and purging of unwanted goods. A small house can feel even smaller if it is too cluttered. So this weekend I started with my boys room. Their closet has been a storage closet for many years now. Half of it is just the dumping ground for toys they no longer use, baby clothes and toys, bins of artwork etc. the other half has jackets and clothing my husband and I have not worn in 6 years and stockpile of snowboarding bags. Travel bags, board bags, hang around town bags. You name it and we have a bag for it. It is a huge closet and was not being used efficiently so I decided to clean it out once and for all. It felt so good to finally deal with the stuff in there. Now my boys will have a great place to store their current toys and more play space in the bedroom. The other half of the closet is now going to be extra play space. It is perfect for building forts or anything else they want. I complain a lot about the small little doll house I live in but the cool thing about living in small quarters is that it forces you to get creative with your space.

Tags: cleaning

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kristasofie responded October 28, 2007 at 10:05PM

Also less to vaccuum

dhiya responded October 29, 2007 at 6:54AM

The 'cleaning up occasionally' & 'messing up frequently' happen alternatively...

Sticky_Mommy responded October 29, 2007 at 8:31AM

I love my job, it gives me a break from my kids!

Fort building is great idea for closet space. thanks for sharing!

dustbunny responded October 29, 2007 at 8:46AM

dishing the dirt, cleaning the chaos

good job on the closet re-org...love it when the closets are functional.

bestmommy responded October 29, 2007 at 9:12AM

life is beautiful so live every moment

someone said cleaning up.. oh love doing that but i love it more if someone else does it for me...

vtmomof2 responded October 29, 2007 at 9:26AM

Life is crazy but wonderful.

oh, I need to clean my closet. I have to get rid of some old clothes. What a mess, I really don't like cleaning closets, but it is so nice when it is done.

LatteMommy responded November 1, 2007 at 7:20PM

LatteMommy

you go rockergirl. awesome! ideas for you....ebay and craigslist.com to earn yourself some extra cash on those things you all don't need or use anymore.

I got myself a manny

Posted October 21, 2007 at 8:48PM by rockergirrl
www.findbarefootbooks.com

This working from home gig while trying to also watch my youngest child proved to be much harder than I thought. I had a very rough first week. I thought I already didn't have enough time in my day between caring for two children and running my household. I had to got an add a 20 hour per week job into the mix. I was miserable. All my old feelings about why I originally quit my job two years ago came flooding back. But I agreed to a two month contract so I have to make it work. I got myself a manny. I thought I would bring someone into my home for a few hours in the morning to help keep my little guy busy while I did the bulk of my work. Today I ran into my neighbors son. He happens to be between jobs, is excellent with my children and someone I trust. So I am going to give it a try.

Tags: working, balance

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dhiya responded October 22, 2007 at 6:53AM

Hope this one works for you...All the best.I know it is hard to have a good balance of everything and it is understandable that you feel miserable.Just let it pass and don't worry..You are doin a wonderful job and will continue to...Have a nice day..

Sticky_Mommy responded October 22, 2007 at 8:34AM

I love my job, it gives me a break from my kids!

Perfect timing. Can you work someplace with a door so you the babe won't try to find you?

dustbunny responded October 23, 2007 at 8:53AM

dishing the dirt, cleaning the chaos

good for you...how is it going? keep us posted

LatteMommy responded October 25, 2007 at 11:12PM

LatteMommy

AWESOME. Good for you. Hope you can get things done now. Keep us updated.

Stuttering

Posted October 15, 2007 at 9:48PM by rockergirrl
www.findbarefootbooks.com

This is hard for me to talk about but I need to vent tonight. My oldest child who is now 6 started stuttering slightly around the age of 3 or 4. It was very mild at the time and we were told by his preschool teachers that they felt it was still in the normal range that children that age sometimes do and more than likely he would outgrow it by age 5. Well age 5 came and the fluency issues continued and started to get a bit worse. At age 5 he was in a different preschool and as it reached the end of the year his teacher recommended we have him tested since he would be starting Kindergarten soon. I was secretly hoping he wouldn't pass and not qualify for special services but we were wrong. Our extremely bright child was coded and would signed up for special speech classes when Kindergarten started.

School has started and so has the speech classes and we are all learning a lot. The classes are helping him and us a lot. We have learned the most important thing we can do for him is change how our home life is. Fluency issues can be helped tremendously by reducing stress at home, not over scheduling the child and practicing what they call slow speech. I don't consider our lifestyle to be fast pace but we have to make a conscious effort every day to provide as much as a non rushed lifestyle as we can. Making these changes has helped him a lot. He has always been a very sensitive and emotional child and we are learning these are sometimes characteristics of a child prone to fluency issues. He feels things and gets things that most children his age do not get. Movies, thoughts, words etc get him where the would go over other children's heads.

I was very hard for me to grasp at first. Every parent wishes of course that their child be perfect. I of course know and understand this is nothing compared to other issues parents face but it is my issue non the less and still hard to deal with. He gets pulled out of class two times a week for speech therapy. Luckily it is Kindergarten and kids now don't realize the difference so much or ask questions. The troubling thing is that recently my two year old has started mimicking him. I am trying to no let it get to me. It is so hard sometimes though. The specialist tell you the worst thing you can do is correct the child, tell them to slow down or other comments like that. But now that my youngest is starting to do it because he hears his older brother doing it I am just starting to feel lost.

Thanks for listening. I just needed to vent my feelings on this. I seldom talk about it other than with my husband because I feel like I don't have any right to complain. See my youngest nephew is about to undergo brain surgery in a few months for the second time (I will explain in another entry later) so I usually just have to swallow my feelings because obviously there are bigger issues going on in my family. Life threatening issues and I don't feel like I have any right to feel this way.

Tags: stuttering

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vtmomof2 responded October 16, 2007 at 8:31AM

Life is crazy but wonderful.

You have the right to feel that way. I know when you look at someone with a greater burden that it is easy to say I don't have a right to feel bad about my situation, but that isn't true, you have the right to feel bad if that is how you feel. It sounds like the program he is in is going to help him, and that is all that is important. I hope he overcomes his stuttering and excels, I'm sure he will.

kymadsmom responded October 16, 2007 at 11:51AM

don't ever feel like you have no right to vent your troubles of course there is someone that will be worse off but this is your situation and you have the right.

First day on the job

Posted October 15, 2007 at 7:51PM by rockergirrl
www.findbarefootbooks.com

Today was my first day working from home at my new short term job. I was so nervous last night. I ended up getting a bunch of info over email that I decided to read (not smart) before bed and broke down because I got so nervous for some reason. I kept wondering if I made the right choice or not. Can I really do this while having my youngest son at home with me. I just added 4 more hours of stuff to do to my already busy day by taking on this job.

Today went better than I expected. It did seem more hectic though. I keep wondering if I am hurting my youngest by having him home with me while I do this job or not. Are the benefits of having him home still better with me doing some part time work while we are there vs. putting him in daycare while I do it? I just can't stomach doing that right now. I think because I had to do it with my first child I am trying to hold onto this one as long as I can. I was still able to be engaged with him, read and go for a walk. He didn't watch TV or anything like that so I guess it was ok. I know I am being hard on myself but I just feel pulled in a million directions right now.

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anaisabel responded October 15, 2007 at 8:04PM

to be honest a home job is pretty cool since you have all the time you want with your son and don't worry about not doing it right your son would prefer having you than having a baby sitter good luck on the job and stay focus no need to have a nervous attack good wishes your new friend millie

dustbunny responded October 15, 2007 at 8:47PM

dishing the dirt, cleaning the chaos

have an idea...send him to my house- he can play with my son while I work on the computer and feel guilty about it...they can play blocks, games, - seriously, we could easily try something....mondays and tuesdays are wide open. in fact, I'll be watching another 4 yo boy on tuesdays from 9-10 so my neighbor can work in her son's classrrom. we could easily include him in the mix. let me know...db

gotta run- bachelor in 10 minutes.

dustbunny responded October 15, 2007 at 8:48PM

dishing the dirt, cleaning the chaos

btw, congrats on your job

A few of Rockergirrl's favorite things

Posted October 11, 2007 at 12:41AM by rockergirrl
www.findbarefootbooks.com

Since the holidays are coming and everyone is interested in buying safer toys this year I thought I would share with you a list of a few of my favorite things. Today I am focussing on one of my all time favorite online retailers Rosi Hippo's. They are based in Washington State and they offer a wonderful assortment of wooden toys, games, music and art supplies. I have ordered many times from this company since I started having babies 6 years ago. Below is just an assortment of the favorite things I have bought for my family. You won't find any plastic stuff here nor anything made in China. You can even sort by US made products or EU made products.

Remember - the prices might seem a bit higher than you are used to paying for toys but believe me the price equals quality and these toys will last.

Here are just a few of my favorite things from this store. Have fun looking around.

Wooden Camera made in the USA
Wooden Telephone made in Romania
Zippy Cars made in the USA
Big Rollie Car made in the USA
Rainbow Car transporter made in the USA
Wooden Push Lawn mower made in the USA
Organic baby doll Egypt
Baby Tumbler made in the USA
Max Rattle made in Germany
Playsilks - these come in all sorts of wonderful colors. This is just the link for a purple one. We own 4 of these in our house and you would be amazed what they become each day. Some days they are capes, tents, blankets, pirate scarfs, skirts - you name it and my kids have pretended with these.
Wooden Wand made in the USA
Rainbow Nesting bowls
Alligator Pull toy

Tags: toys, shopping, RosiHippo, woodentoys

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soxmonkey responded October 11, 2007 at 8:51PM

I'm with child :)

Thank you, I'm trying to not to bring plastic into my house.

bestmommy responded October 12, 2007 at 8:38AM

life is beautiful so live every moment

great list i wonder what would my dd say if she saw this list lol :)

Job update

Posted October 10, 2007 at 12:56AM by rockergirrl
www.findbarefootbooks.com

I have accepted a two month contract position with a company I used to work for. I will be working 20 hrs a week from home for the next 2 months. It is short term and I really could use the money so I need to make it work. I am hoping I can do this without feeling l like I am ignoring my youngest. It is flexible and I feel I am already good at juggling home life and other obligations but I feel a tad bit guilty.

Tags: job

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vtmomof2 responded October 10, 2007 at 1:13PM

Life is crazy but wonderful.

Don't feel guilty. That is great you found something you can do at home.

Sticky_Mommy responded October 10, 2007 at 1:14PM

I love my job, it gives me a break from my kids!

If you don't feel guilty - I want to know your serect!

It's only 2 months. If the house isn't as clean or the clothes put away, I think you and fam can handle it. Well done for finding something that is a better fit for you!

dhiya responded October 12, 2007 at 7:15AM

It is nice that you've found somethin convenient for yourself so why feel guilty???

LatteMommy responded October 12, 2007 at 1:34PM

LatteMommy

Don't feel guilty at all. you will do just fine and if you feel overwhelmed come here to vent. we'll listen! good for you rockergirl....that's awesome.
I need to find one of those jobs from home.

dustbunny responded October 12, 2007 at 2:06PM

dishing the dirt, cleaning the chaos

this will be great for you! you'll feel good but not maxxed out having to leave the house...nice job.

Now you are six

Posted October 5, 2007 at 11:16AM by rockergirrl
www.findbarefootbooks.com

Tomorrow is my oldest son's 6th birthday. Today at his school they had a birthday ceremony for him. Parents can bring in a special birthday snack for the class. At circle time the child circles the center of the floor holding a globe, each revolution representing a year in the child's life. Parents are invited to attend the ceremony and share stories, pictures or artifacts to illustrate each year. The ceremony is concluded with songs.

I baked banana muffins to bring in. I wrote a poem for him and brought in a few pictures. The children were so wonderful. They loved the poem and asked a ton of questions when I was finished. They are learning about rhyming words right now so I thought it would be fun to discuss with them what a poem is. They especially liked seeing the pictures of my DS when he was a baby.

I wrote it in a very simple voice so it could be easily understood by the children. I thought I would share it with you.

Now You Are Six

Once a baby oh so small
So quickly it seemed
you learned to crawl.

You learned to walk when you were one.
Watching you change was so much fun.

At age two you loved to dance and sing
You loved books, art,
and learning about most everything.

Age three and four you were out the door
digging, building, and exploring more.

Age five was the year you sprouted tall.
Biking, swimming, and soccer
You loved to do it all.

Now you are six and in school at last
Meeting new friends -
learning and growing fast.

Happy Birthday my sweet child.

Tags: birthday, poem, ceremony

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vtmomof2 responded October 5, 2007 at 11:21AM

Life is crazy but wonderful.

That was beautiful.

dustbunny responded October 5, 2007 at 11:31AM

dishing the dirt, cleaning the chaos

that's so sweet...you know what you could do? we do "celebration of life" poster each year (they did it @ montessori) and on a birthday, the child brings in a poster with a photo from each year of their life...you could make a picture poster and put the stanzas under the corresponding years, or the poem next to the images... and frame it or at least put it up for his birthday....oh and remember to hang balloons tonight from his ceiling if you think that idea is cool....happy birthday to your ds

LucsMimi responded October 5, 2007 at 12:49AM

What a sweet poem!

bestmommy responded October 8, 2007 at 6:50AM

life is beautiful so live every moment

Belated HAppy Birthday to your DS and the poem is lovely

kymadsmom responded October 8, 2007 at 1:28PM

wow that was beautiful it mad me cry

Job Interview Update

Posted October 5, 2007 at 11:03AM by rockergirrl
www.findbarefootbooks.com

So the job interview was horrible. In the end I was told I was a strong candidate but when I got into my car I burst into tears. I am left torn and confused and quiet honestly I hope it is not offered to me. As I explained before it was my first job interview in 9 years. Before becoming a SAHM two years ago I had worked for the same company for 9 years. My experience at this other company was wonderful. I got a ton of experience and learned so much about myself and business. It groomed me to be independent and a self starter. It paved my way to becoming a self employed entrepreneur that I now am. Being thrown back into an environment of strict schedules and corporate life was shocking to my system. I started to doubt why I was there. My intent was to get a part time job through the holidays to bring in some extra cash. The reality would be that I work 4 nights a week from about 6-11pm plus one weekend day. I thought perhaps it could be a little less than that but it doesn't look that way. I feel like I am struggling enough as it is keeping my family organized and my small business afloat. I honestly do not think I could burn both ends of stick by working until 11pm, getting to bed at midnight, and then up at 6am for my other full time job - my family.

My DH and I talked long and hard about it last night and I don't think he wants me to do it. He knows me too well and thinks it will be too much on me and the family. Talking to my mother did not help. She was a nurse and worked 3-11pm until I was in College. When I asked her how she did it she simply said "I had to. It was sink or swim." Although the money would help us a ton it isn't as dire for us. We have gotten by this far and we can continue to do it. But yes the money would help.

I am so torn. If I go with my gut (which I am a huge believer in) it would be to say no if the job is offered to me. I feel lost and confused.

Tags: work, interview, balance

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vtmomof2 responded October 5, 2007 at 11:12AM

Life is crazy but wonderful.

You don't want the job. I have had this same internal battle when I was looking for work before I went back to school. I think I actually sabotaged my own chances a couple of times. I wanted a job, we needed the money, but my hubby didn't want me to work and deep down neither did I. Only when the student loans became due did I say I had to do something, so I went back to school. It buys me a few years until my son goes to school full time and than going to work won't be so bad and I will be doing something I really want and earning decent money. I was going to have to start all over anyway since I had been home with the kids for a few years, and I decided if I was going to have to start at the bottom, I may as well start over doing something different. Don't be hard on yourself, your heart is telling you what is right. It is ok to be a sahm, if you aren't starving don't worry.

dustbunny responded October 5, 2007 at 11:18AM

dishing the dirt, cleaning the chaos

I hear ya and you aren't alone! don't take the job, you've milked it this far, just hang tight...things will turn around- focus on your jewelry and don't even go there...it's not worth it...should we go into p/t business together? what can we do, ladies? custom birthday planning? home staging? professional chatting? Oh yeah, we already do that, lol...we just need a few more gigs. :)

rockergirrl responded October 5, 2007 at 11:25AM

www.findbarefootbooks.com

vtmom - thanks. I think you are right.
dustbunny - I can see us going into business together.

karriejean responded October 5, 2007 at 2:31PM

Massage therapist, martial artist, butt-kickin' momma.

Your reaction when you got into your car should be enough to tell you how you feel. Why get all stressed out? If $$ is manageable right now, keep it that way. Would being unhappy but having more money be worth it? Probably not. Do what you love, love what you do. Stick with your jewelry and kiddos, it's what makes you thrive.

kymadsmom responded October 8, 2007 at 1:24PM

Stay at home if you are surviving tahn just continue I so wish that i did not have to work my girls are growing up so fast and i am missing it all.stay home and enjoy you will be fine

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