MyBaby - vtmomof2 Journal

Her First Boyfriend

Posted April 23, 2008 at 10:17AM by vtmomof2
Life is crazy but wonderful.

My daughter is 10, she will be 11 later this year, and she has her first boyfriend. I just found out. I thought this little boy was sweet on her, since he was giving her presents and trying hard to get her attention. She told my mom that she had a boyfriend and that he hugged her. I asked her why she didn't tell me and she just giggled. We have been really busy and stressed with a death in the family, so I'm sure that is why. Since this is a relatively new development. I tried not to say oh how cute, since I have known this little boy since they were in kindergarten together. I read that you are suppose to treat kids puppy love seriously since they take it seriously. I guess this is the way it will be from this point forward. She is getting older.

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benbaby responded April 23, 2008 at 12:19AM

Goofing around with my babies - Big and Lil

Often we don't realize how soon time flies. Kids grow so fast, but we keep thinking about our little ones as a tiny baby when he/she was born.

dustbunny responded April 23, 2008 at 12:57AM

dishing the dirt, cleaning the chaos

wow! it's like we are opn similar planes or something. last week my 8 yo met a girl at the park to walk to school together! he has a girlfriend and it's crazy...they are getting older...too fast but really, it means we are getting old too!

vtmomof2 responded April 23, 2008 at 12:58AM

Life is crazy but wonderful.

I think I am going to take my moms opinion that while they are growing older, I am not:)

Sticky_Mommy responded April 23, 2008 at 2:29PM

I love my job, it gives me a break from my kids!

OMG! So cute. I love the hugging. My DD still wants to marry me. I'll be heartbroken when I have to share her with a boyfriend!

Gardening

Posted April 22, 2008 at 12:16AM by vtmomof2
Life is crazy but wonderful.

It may seem early, but today I was working in my garden. I was cleaning it out, and I planted spinach and lettuce. These two are cold crops, they like the cool nights. I like the cool crops because it lets me plant something early. It was also a nice break from my final week at school. My son and I were able to go out and play in the dirt. I can't wait to be done with school and the weather to stay warm. I usually work on my garden every day. I am going to grow different crops this year. We are doing squash, corn, sunflowers, lettuce, spinach, peppers, onions, garlic, asparagus, tomatoes, eggplant, and of course my herb garden. The kids love to work the garden. Every morning during the summer my daughter gets up and goes outside to tell me which plants have grown. My son loves to plant the seeds. This year though I am going to self pollinate my plants. I don't have a big garden so it shouldn't be too bad. Last year I lost squash and tomatoes, and I learned that it was because of the lack of pollination. So I am going to take over for the lack of bees. I am hoping that this year I will get more vegetables by doing the pollination myself.

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benbaby responded April 22, 2008 at 2:15PM

Goofing around with my babies - Big and Lil

Its nice to know that your kids love gardening! I'm eagerly waiting for my toddler to grow to show him how interesting it gets.

Test Anxiety Update

Posted April 16, 2008 at 4:15PM by vtmomof2
Life is crazy but wonderful.

Well I just had my meeting with my daughter's school over her test anxiety. I learned something new today, my daughter is way ahead of all the kids in her class even though she tells me all the time that she is behind everyone. This is what has been stressing her, that she is behind everyone, but she is actually ahead. My daughter is a perfectionist, she thinks she is behind and failing even though she is ahead and excelling. Her principal was just going on and on about her test scores over the past two years. He said that she is proficient with distinction in reading and one point away in math. So what am I to do with my stressed out perfectionist daughter? I actually have an appt with a counselor who will teach her relaxation techniques. I did this on my own without any input from the school, and this, according to the meeting today, was the best possible thing that we can do. One other thing also came out, my daughter isn't hearing everything. All of her teachers said she was having auditory problems. She has had 4 surgeries on her right ear, and I have told the school every year that she has trouble, and when the counselor lined up all of her marks from all of her teachers her hearing stuck out. So the school has to work with her hearing problem. I told my daughter that she has to realize that she has trouble hearing and have to work towards finding a way to deal with that. It also came out that my daughter is literal, very literal, she takes everything seriously, and she is very intense. Even the counselor said that after monitoring her in class that she intensely watched the teacher and was very serious and literal with directions. So what am I to do with my intense, literal, perfectionist daughter?

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Sticky_Mommy responded April 17, 2008 at 9:16AM

I love my job, it gives me a break from my kids!

At least you have properly identified her needs. And not waiting for the school to guide you is another great thing you???re doing for your daughter. You are being proactive and getting advice from your gut and other sources. You guys will figure it out together. You're both smart!

BigKid131 responded April 18, 2008 at 9:53AM

I'm a big kid now.

I used to the be the same way when I was in elementary and middle school (and even before). My mom tells me how much of a perfectionist I was in school, but I guess I just grew out of it? I am not sure how I became that way or why I stopped, but as I continued with school, I just became more relaxed about it and comfortable with my skills that I didn't put pressure on myself anymore.

I would just suggest letting your daughter know that she is doing an excellent job, but she just needs to do her best and be pleased with that. My mom constantly told me that she didn't care how I did, as long as I tried my best and I carry that with me to this day. Obsessing won't help anyone.

dustbunny responded April 18, 2008 at 9:24PM

dishing the dirt, cleaning the chaos

celebrate her and accept it...then work from there. think of all the world's leaders who are the same stinking way. then, I swear, it's easier.

benbaby responded April 19, 2008 at 6:00AM

Goofing around with my babies - Big and Lil

In my opinion the best way to deal with this problem is to ignore it. If parents don't get too stressed and worried and stay calm things will sort out on its own. Your daughter is very smart and she will find a solution to this herself. Stay relaxed.

vtmomof2 responded April 20, 2008 at 8:43PM

Life is crazy but wonderful.

All great suggestions. Unfortunately I cannot ignore this, she is getting too stressed. I ignored it last year hoping that she would learn to cope. Now she gets too stressed, and if she is anything like me, the stress will grow to the point of having emotional breakdowns. She has already come home crying, and has been reduced to tears because she feels like she is failing. The stress level isn't worth it when there is a simple and quick solution that will help her cope better. I think the counselor, who will teach her relaxation tips, will be ideal. It isn't to over the top, but will help her gain coping skills that she will be able to use throughout her life.

dustbunny responded April 21, 2008 at 10:45AM

dishing the dirt, cleaning the chaos

my son, as we've gone over before, is the same way. he froze up, cried, didn't finish tests if he thought he couldn't do them, panicked, cried, panicked, cried...one thing we did was buy a bottle of lavendar spray. I told him to keep it in his backpack incase he got stressed! he totally liked the idea. it could really go well with the relaxation techniques. I also told him to imagine everyone in their underwear....he thought that was funny...

The Strongest Woman I Know

Posted April 2, 2008 at 8:14AM by vtmomof2
Life is crazy but wonderful.

My grandma. She is the strongest woman I know. My grandma has faced adversity her entire life. She has been very ill. I wrote about it before. She has a very bad heart, diabetes, and she developed gangrene on her feet. She has no circulation in her legs. She was getting very ill on Friday when my mom went to visit her. She hadn't showered, she was in extreme pain. She went to the doctor on Monday and I got a call that she was admitted to the hospital immediately and she was to have surgery Tuesday morning. The problem, her kidneys were failing and her heart is so weak that her doctors told us that the chances were not good for her to survive the surgery. She even said she was ready to die. I rushed to the hospital along with my entire family. 52 people squeezed into a hospital room. I am happy to say she made it through the surgery. She survived, amazingly. She lost her leg and has a long road ahead of her, but she is a survivor.

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dustbunny responded April 2, 2008 at 12:52AM

dishing the dirt, cleaning the chaos

well, what an amazing woman! I know you'll need lots of support but my mom lost her leg and is paralyzed..in a wheelchair and she keeps on going, everyday and it's amazing...

She writes for DISABOOM.COM and it's an excellent resource people and families facing amputation and other health problems. You can chat with people who are going through the same things...peace to grandma!

vtmomof2 responded April 2, 2008 at 12:59AM

Life is crazy but wonderful.

Dustbunny, I have never known anybody who has gone through amputation. My grandma is a strong woman, but this is devastating to her. She also has to spend some time in a nursing home. Luckily one of my cousin's works at a nursing home and we were able to get her a room there. I think being with her granddaughter on a daily basis will make things easier while she is there recovering. I will check out that website to learn more about amputation. My family has been trying to figure out what to do with her house to get it ready for when she gets home. Thank you for the info:)

dustbunny responded April 2, 2008 at 6:38PM

dishing the dirt, cleaning the chaos

just a thought...get rid of the house and find assisted living with people around 24-7 to help...she might not feel as lonely or as helpless...although she may not be that kind of person :)many people feel it's bad but I've been researching and there are some really great places and they can do a lot to help her! just a though

benbaby responded April 3, 2008 at 12:08AM

Goofing around with my babies - Big and Lil

Your grandmom has great will power. Very few people can undergo such surgeries at that age and still survive through.Its really amazing and pray that she will recover soon.

vtmomof2 responded April 3, 2008 at 7:54AM

Life is crazy but wonderful.

dustbunny, I actually suggested to my mom that they find her an apartment that is handicap assessible, and has people to help her. She lives in a mobil home now, and there is no way that she will be able to get around in it.

dustbunny responded April 3, 2008 at 10:47AM

dishing the dirt, cleaning the chaos

go with your gut on that...don't think nursing home, think assisted living. honestly, if you can alleviate the amount of daily stress on "normal" tasks plus utilities and other "fixed" process will just make life easier. plus she can have help whenever she needs it and then, she'll be part of a community of people who need assistance but still have fun doing elderly activities. at some places, they drive for them, help them with personal care, wound care, etc. even if you do a six month stay, I'd consider it.

TRY this site: http://www.aplaceformom.com/about/

when I called for a relative, they called me back right away- they can help you find what you need...it's worth talking to someone who does this every day. good luck!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fM4AT3Qhqhs

dustbunny responded April 3, 2008 at 10:55AM

dishing the dirt, cleaning the chaos

http://nursing-homes.aplaceformom.com/vermont/rutland/mountain-view-center-76256/

VERMONT nursing home with short-term stay option...

Sticky_Mommy responded April 3, 2008 at 11:21AM

I love my job, it gives me a break from my kids!

WOW, it sounds like she still has a lot of fight in her. And thankfully she has all you guys to lean on.