Sticky_Mommy responded April 17, 2008 at 9:16AM

  I love my job, it gives me a break from my kids!

At least you have properly identified her needs. And not waiting for the school to guide you is another great thing you???re doing for your daughter. You are being proactive and getting advice from your gut and other sources. You guys will figure it out together. You're both smart!

  BigKid131 responded April 18, 2008 at 9:53AM

  I'm a big kid now.

I used to the be the same way when I was in elementary and middle school (and even before). My mom tells me how much of a perfectionist I was in school, but I guess I just grew out of it? I am not sure how I became that way or why I stopped, but as I continued with school, I just became more relaxed about it and comfortable with my skills that I didn't put pressure on myself anymore.

I would just suggest letting your daughter know that she is doing an excellent job, but she just needs to do her best and be pleased with that. My mom constantly told me that she didn't care how I did, as long as I tried my best and I carry that with me to this day. Obsessing won't help anyone.

  dustbunny responded April 18, 2008 at 9:24PM

  dishing the dirt, cleaning the chaos

celebrate her and accept it...then work from there. think of all the world's leaders who are the same stinking way. then, I swear, it's easier.

  benbaby responded April 19, 2008 at 6:00AM

  Goofing around with my babies - Big and Lil

In my opinion the best way to deal with this problem is to ignore it. If parents don't get too stressed and worried and stay calm things will sort out on its own. Your daughter is very smart and she will find a solution to this herself. Stay relaxed.

  vtmomof2 responded April 20, 2008 at 8:43PM

  Life is crazy but wonderful.

All great suggestions. Unfortunately I cannot ignore this, she is getting too stressed. I ignored it last year hoping that she would learn to cope. Now she gets too stressed, and if she is anything like me, the stress will grow to the point of having emotional breakdowns. She has already come home crying, and has been reduced to tears because she feels like she is failing. The stress level isn't worth it when there is a simple and quick solution that will help her cope better. I think the counselor, who will teach her relaxation tips, will be ideal. It isn't to over the top, but will help her gain coping skills that she will be able to use throughout her life.

  dustbunny responded April 21, 2008 at 10:45AM

  dishing the dirt, cleaning the chaos

my son, as we've gone over before, is the same way. he froze up, cried, didn't finish tests if he thought he couldn't do them, panicked, cried, panicked, cried...one thing we did was buy a bottle of lavendar spray. I told him to keep it in his backpack incase he got stressed! he totally liked the idea. it could really go well with the relaxation techniques. I also told him to imagine everyone in their underwear....he thought that was funny...