I'm a single mom of two small children under the age of four, so Turkey Day can be a bit of a task. My father has decided that instead of christmas, since my sister and I both have children whom santa visits he will do his family gathering on thanksgiving.  So I have my kids help me make Rice Krispie Treats (the first thing I ever "cooked" when I was four, and ensure I have their magnet doodle boards (walmart 88 cent toy) for the drive out.  I make a cd with their favorite songs, music from the movie cars, backyardigans, lazy town etc.  so they can sing and enjoy the music while doodling and behaving.  I make sure to pack some non-messy activities (both inside and outside) based on the weather to keep them occupied, and always ask my parents to let them help with simple chores, setting the table, putting away coats of guests, etc.  They have a ball, feel included, and like big girl helpers.  It makes the day go by with little fuss and lots of fun.  So I guess my tip is find the things that are age appropriate for your children to do, or help with and assign it to them, it makes them feel important and incharge of something when everything else can be well chaotic.