Kid's Funny Prayers

One Sunday in a Midwest city a young child was "acting up" during
the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain
some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally
the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the
aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the
foyer the little one called loudly to the congregation,
"Pray for me! Pray for me!"

A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer "Dear Harold".
At this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, How come you
called God, "Harold"? The little boy looked up and said, "That's
what they call Him in chruch, You know the prayer we say,
"Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name."

During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle
from one of the back pews. Gary's mother was horrified. She pinched
him into silence, and after church, asked: "Gary, whatever made
you do such a thing?" Gary answered soberly: "I asked God to teach
me to whistle... And He just then did!"

One night Mike's parents overheard this prayer. "Now I lay me
down to rest, and hope to pass tomorrow's test, if I should die
before I wake, that's one less test I have to take."

A little boy's prayer. "Dear God, please take care of my daddy,
mommy, sister, brother, my doggy and me. Oh, please take care of
yourself, God. If anything happens to you, we're gonna be in a big mess."

A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy: "So your mother says
your prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does
she say?" The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"

A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her
six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
I wouldn't know what to say," the little girl replied. "Just say what
you hear Mommy say, "the mother said. The little girl bowed her head
and said "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

Johny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while
he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and
then said a prayer. "Fine, said the pleased mother. "If you ask
God to help you not misbehave, He will help you." "Oh, I didn't ask
Him to help me not misbehave," said Johnny.
"I asked Him to help you put up with me."

A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if You can't make me a
better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am!"