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60
Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)
As
I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons
why:
A
woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are
you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 40
doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She
does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.
Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with
you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you
deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away
with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They
know what it's like to be unappreciated.
Women
get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than
her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll
tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don't ever
have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes,
we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not
reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is
a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year
old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
For
all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?',
here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why?
Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little
sausage!
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