rockergirrl responded August 25, 2008 at 10:04PM

  www.findbarefootbooks.com

Yes very typical behavior for this age I think. Kids act out a lot at this age because they are learning how to communicate. They have a lot of new emotions stirring in their bodies and they have no idea what is appropriate and how to control/communicate them. It sucks for us for sure. It is easy to just fall into screaming no all day long and realizing it isn't getting anywhere. Here are my suggestions:
-Use the phrase "Hands are not for hitting". Try to look at the situation. What is she frustrated over. What does she need.
-Stop asking questions. This took me years of training myself. Instead of saying "Do you want to eat lunch now?" You say "It's time for lunch now." The biggest mistake we as parents make is adding the word "ok?" to every sentence we make to our kids. "Let's brush your teeth now ok?", "Let's get your shoe on now ok?" No more oks. Turn those questions into statements. "It's time to brush our teeth." "It's time to get our shoes on." etc. I was never personally a big time out fan but I believe then can work if done correctly and at the right age. You are right that kids at a young age do not understand what is really going on. But you can use the methods of more like removing her from the situation to "chill out". But you chill out with her. Help her calm down. Some tantrums need hugs and love, some tantrums you just leave alone. This is a trying time especially pregnant. Just remember to take deep breaths and know that getting angry and yelling back only makes the situation worse. As hard as it is (I struggle too every day) keeping calm and talking back to them in a calm voice will calm them down. Good luck.

  michellerabon07 responded August 25, 2008 at 10:06PM

  

OMG you and I should be best friends...your child sounds like mine....if you figure it out pass it along!!!

  rohansmama responded August 26, 2008 at 3:20AM

  

That sounds exactly like my 19 year old son. Its only recently he started hitting his head on the floor if he does not have his way. I'm going crazy and have decided that this is probably a stage which has to pass. So waiting patiently than just screwing up my day screaming at him.

  vtmomof2 responded August 26, 2008 at 8:42AM

  Life is crazy but wonderful.

I always ignored tantrums, since this would be negative attention. After the tantrum calms down I always hugged my son and tried to put words to his feelings, like saying "you must be feeling frustrated or angry," just an example. I then talked to him about it. I know that she is little, but talking to her about her feelings and appropriate ways to express them, like "we don't hit when we are frustrated" in a calm manner calms her down and eventually she will learn that when we are frustrated we use words. My son will be 5 on Friday and he is just starting to say I'm frustrated and will still, sometimes, hit things, not people anymore. I do use time out or our step. I only use it when he REALLY needs a time out, so he knows that the step is for a real punishment. He sits there until he calms down, and now after he calms down he comes over to me for a hug and we talk about why he had to sit on the step. But I started doing this when he was little like your daughter. It is a learning process, she is frustrated and doesn't know how to tell you. Calm understanding will calm her down. I don't pay attention to tantrums and only give attention when the tantrum is done. My daughter was always funny when she was little, she would calm down and I would say do you feel better now, are you done? and she would say no and then start having a tantrum again.

  Sticky_Mommy responded August 26, 2008 at 8:52AM

  I love my job, it gives me a break from my kids!

Yes normal, and I'm sure she'll grow out of it by the time she's 14.

Pick your battles. Diaper changing is a must, laundry folding sound like she's bored. Can you flap a clean sheet above you and run under it so you're playing with her and getting some stuff done?

When she hits tell her what rockergirrl said and then walk away from her. When she runs after you tell her when she doesn't hit Mommy then you two can read a book or give her a reward like a hug.

With my 2nd I thought my first would smother him. It didn't happen. It does now 2 years later, but he can hit back.

  Kelmcmom responded August 26, 2008 at 9:08AM

  Diggin the motherhood gig

Wow Thanks all for the great suggestions! Stay calm huh? Easier said than done right? I guess my hormones are kickin cause my firstborn is ridin my nerves big time! I felt like I have just been yelling at her for a week! So I promised myself to get back on track. Tomorrow is another day they day! I love this site by the way. Its an awesome support system! ;o)

  rockergirrl responded August 26, 2008 at 12:29AM

  www.findbarefootbooks.com

get this book (you will need it with #2 also)
Kid Cooperation: How to Stop Yelling, Nagging and Pleading and Get Kids to Cooperate
buy it here:
http://www.amazon.com/Kid-Cooperation-Yelling-Pleading-Cooperate/dp/1572240407

  danielle101282 responded September 22, 2008 at 5:31PM

  

I would have to say this is very common and I was afraid of the same thing you are. I have one child almost exactly 2 years older then the other. I put mine in a corner. If she refuses I put her there and stand behind her and every time she leaves I tell her to go back. I do this because my step-son who we have all the time, was never disciplined and I am still fixing that mess. Don't ask questions. If you feel the need, for example my first is very stubborn, so I asked questions that Either way answered was acceptable. For example"Would you like a peanut butter sandwich or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich" Either way the answer was acceptable. This makes the child feel like they have some control and in doing so stops conflict. I had a doctor suggest this, he said she was stubborn and had a leader mentality. Well I tried it and it worked great.

Hope everything works out for you.